Untitled, because of the person it’s about.!

I don’t remember the guy i dated a year ago. But i STILL remember your first gaze at me. Your eyes had a different charm. they were magnetic. possibly the best part of your personality. I just couldn’t take my eyes off yours. That’s when i realized that I’d been staring too hard and long. But i just couldn’t stop. you’d noticed it too. I kept looking into your eyes from across the class like a fool. Your eyes are like a kid’s. With a blend of innocence and playfulness.

I don’t know how it happened. It just did. There was something very alluring about you that kept me thinking about you. Your single stare and a faint smile was enough for me to keep smiling all day. I was never so mad about anything or anyone. i myself couldn’t understand what was happening. But something was changing in me. The more i used to see him the more irresistible and irrevocable my feelings used to get.

And the most astonishing part was, i always knew that you’d never be mine. But i never thought about being with you. Just looking at you made my head spin each time. You made all my emotions come out. Never in my entire life have i felt so alive, connected, euphoric, sad and intense for that matter.!! You’ve made me cry till i choked. You’ve even made me blush till my cheeks hurt.

I have had splendid memories of and with you.! and whenever i see you or think about you, i recollect everything and i can just afford to smile =)

I’ve caused problems for you, which i really never meant to. In fact you were not supposed to know about my feelings for you in the first place. I still can’t decide if what happened has been for the good or not.

But unknowingly you’ve helped me. Taught me how to be strong. How to change rules and how to believe in what you do. You taught me how to be free. How to challenge the world. You taught me how to dare to love, even if it’s not meant to be!

You sometimes keep me up at nights. The thought of you makes me sleep at times. You bring out the real me. You guide me at hours of weakness. Whenever i’m about to do something bad, your thought comes to my mind and refrain from proceeding with the ruinous activity.

Now i realize, it was not love. It was something more. not love, but something else. Something which i cannot name. being with you and knowing you gave me power.

I still don’t understand why this happened and why am i not able to stop it. But one thing i know for sure is that i’d want him to be in my life forever. keep teaching me things about life, knowingly, unknowingly.

I can’t write anymore. It brings back the past overly exposed in front of me.

And the only one thing i’m sure of is that i’m extremely lucky and glad to have met you.

I don’t dream of being your partner or spending some “quality” time with you.

I just want you to be there. In.My.Life.Forever. Don’t know as what, But, Just be there.

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” You have to stay at the surface. There is nothing at the bottom.
only darkness, which will eventually eat you up..
So stay at the surface, with the rays of the bright sun over you face. “

A friend once said to me that she feels like locking herself up in a dark room and throwing away the key. She felt that Life was too depressing ! And that’s exactly when i made up those lines . =)

 

well, do not follow this quote while scuba diving! 😛

How would YOU interpret this picture?! How would YOU interpret this picture?!

This is a photo that i clicked for my school magazine 4 years back for an article titled “Beautiful Stain”. The school editors made “some” changes in this illustration by completely erasing off the blade because they thought it was too offensive.
But, a piece of art IS a piece of art.! And well, it perfectly went with the “offensive” article too.

So, how do you interpret this picture? Many people studied this picture with great enthusiasm and gave me the following interpretations :

1. LOVE CAN BE PAINFUL. ” there is blood on the stem.so this figure doesn’t show that any harm has been done to the rose.. in fact whomsoever held this rose cut himself.. and the fallen petal represents the what has lost in his life… his love… himself/herself.. ”

2. “it is an ideal picture which shows us how humans are… selfish and not caring about others.. think ourselves to be the most advances of all the species but that doesn’t give us the right to treat others any different.. taking the rose for an example.. a blade has been used to cut the plant… so it has to be the a human.. and how we take plants not to be living and cutting it ruthlessly for our joy. ”

what do you think so far? Any different interpretations or thoughts about this?

Here’s one more…

” Let the blade be one person and the rose another. Rose – believed to be one of the most beautiful things. But it has it’s “thorns” too. But a person very close to Rose tried to remove those “thorns” – the faults, the bad and the hurtful things from the person’s soul. Rose surely was hurt in the process but doesn’t understand the good in it now. The blade took the risk and made sure that Rose doesn’t hurt anyone. He was ready to take the blame and risk their relationship because it might help Rose in future.”

it’s fascinating how people interpret pictures in ways related to their life. that’s the truth of life. everyone relates things according to their experiences. fair enough.

Interpretations much?!

The Quest for the Lost.!

I was walking down the streets,

Alone.

Trying to search something that i had lost.

I walked miles at nights,

to different lanes and blocks,

trying to find what i’d lost.

The night’s were scary,

the streets were lonely.

The road was wet and my feet cold.

With each step the night grew colder,

darker.

But the desire to find it was stronger.

Strangers came, stopped by

and laughed.

They said i was insane,

without any support and base.

But i stared at the dark road,

and walked ahead.

The search became longer than it seemed

and success was nowhere to be seen.

But my faith was strong.

I took a deep breath and

walked.

The nights became quiet

and the lights of hope seemed to fuse. . .

 

But then,

A ray of Light fell over my face.

It was a new dawn.

A rising Hope.

The search seemed to end,

But what was lost was still to be found.

 

I walked. Again.

But now on wet grass

with butterflies circling me

spreading the scents of velvety flowers.

 

Suddenly,

I stopped.

a mysterious force forced me to walk towards a lake.

The water was clear and still,

without a single ripple.

I bent.

Everything changed and started to make sense.

The journey was over and i found what every damaged soul searches for.

I had found,

the “Lost ME”.

Quit, Don’t Quit? Noodles, Don’t Noodles.!?!

“maybe i should just quit and go back to making noodles” . Ever got this feeling?! Well, most of us do. In the journey of life there will come times when you’ll just feel like running away from your destiny. A destiny  which you planned for yourself. A destiny which seems nothing like the one you dreamt of. But that’s not what destiny is about, right? Destiny is the hidden power believed to control your future. If you Don’t ‘Believe’ in your destiny, There’s no point in waiting for it to be created on it’s own. Destiny is what you create for yourself. And, as rightly said by Master Oogway, “One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it”. You either run from your destiny or move towards it, either ways it will depend on your power to believe in.

The day you start believing in yourself, you don’t have to worry about – destiny, dreams, fate and future. Everything will fall in place once you start believing in yourself. And from the moment you start doing it you’ll be worthy of becoming the warrior of your own dreams.

“The secret ingredient is……. nothing!”

“wait… then it’s just plain old noodle soup? Don’t you add something special to it, like a sauce or something?”

” Don’t have to. To make something special you just have to believe it’s special.”

And when you’ll look down into the scroll of Life to see your reflection in it, that’s when you’ll know that there’s no secret ingredient.!

It’s always just YOU.

And well, If someone tries to shake your faith by saying ” You’re just a big fat Panda” , reply looking into their eyes with ” I’m not ‘A’ Big Fat Panda. I’m ‘THE’ Big Fat Panda.!

Noodles.! 😉Image

 

#Random act of Love!

The only thing i have been doing since past few days is sleeping and eating and listening to music.

seriously. Nothing else.

But this urgency and thirst to discover the deeper meanings of small things keeps me thinking a lot these days.  Two days ago, while i was listening to john butler’s amazing soundtrack, i came across my friend’s post about letters and how they store the most incredible memories of people. Here’s a Link to it :

http://avoidingdecadence.blogspot.in/2013/05/day-3-on-letters-and-memories.html

When i started reading this post i was lying flat on my bed, yawning. Slowly as i reached the end of the post i found myself to be sitting straight on the chair, my eyes glued to the screen.

I was greatly moved by the efforts made by the girl to spread love. how a random act of love and kindness can be so infectious?! she used to drop love letters on random streets, in book stores, theaters where someone would find them. Can you imagine the joy on the face of the one who finds a “love letter” from a stranger? I, personally, would have started crying with joy.!

Well, that was really when i felt the urge to do something for others and make them feel special. Everybody wants to be loved. So why not let them know.?!

That day i prepared small colorful envelopes, each containing a letter of love – of hope – of happiness – of life. I addressed it as ” To whoever finds it ” and left them at the book stores and cafes’ i used to visit.

That was it. The feeling after i left those letters on the shelves.? No, sorry. I cannot put it into words. Amazing. Never felt something like that before. I don’t even know who will be the one to read it. there are chances that one might just throw it as a piece of nonsense. BUT, what if it’s found by a person who needs it and it becomes one of the reasons for him to smile for the day?

 

A random act of Love.

 

So join in and write something as well, making somebody’s day special across the world. =)Image

i feel that i'm alive.

When you call on me
When I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly
I feel that I’m alive

When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that I’m alive

When you bless the day
I just drift away
All my worries die
I’m glad that I’m alive

You’ve set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman on clouds above

I couldn’t get much higher
My spirit takes flight
‘Cause I am alive

That I’ll be the one
Standing by through good and through trying times
And it’s only begun
I can’t wait for the rest of my life

– Celine Dion.

This Song – My sole reason for clicking this picture. the love. the hopes. the commitment. wanted to capture something that could define the above. =)

Sometimes you don’t get what you want.

Today, exactly after 9 days of my NID results i realized that it was just over hyped.

Getting into this institute was my dream which i’ve been dreaming since i was in class 8th.too much, eh? well, it was for me. It was everything to me. When all my friends used to go to the gaming zone and for the movies, i used to sit at home dreaming about how my life would change after getting into NID. well, yes, i am much of a dreamer. But i Just didn’t Dream. I worked towards it. Worked Hard. Never wanted anything so badly in my life. Spent days sketching my thoughts. sometimes sketched for days together, without eating and bathing.

But now when i’m 18, when my life is going to change for real, i didn’t get the only thing i wanted the most till now. I cried after seeing the results and reading a line under my name which said, ” we’re sorry to inform you that you are not shortlisted for the admissions at our institute. ” yes, i cried. Alot. i had been working for this since 4 years, of-course i cried.

But then when i woke up the next day i could hear a voice inside me. Well, i thought it was the same stupid voice which kept brooding over things. But THIS time the voice was of something else. It was of hope.Determination.cheerfulness !

it said to me ” never do things half heartedly. pour down all your feelings and hardwork intoit and then see the results.Sometimes you may feel like giving up…But just remember…Never , NEVER GIVE UP. Just do more than what is expected and do it cheerfully. “

That was when i really woke up. i mean ” what the hell? ” what if i didn’t get into the best institute. College life depends on what you do and not on where you are.!

So now, where ever i go, i am going to do just the same things i had planned. will do more than what is expected and do it cheerfully.

Sometimes, you don’t get what you want because that’s not what you deserve?! Lets Hope for the best 😉

keep dreaming. keep expressing.